I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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