Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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