You smell like stripper and shame
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i think i have herpe
just one?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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