I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my sisters under your porch take her home
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
