Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
