I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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