you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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