two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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