Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
