How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
