But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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