She's JV to your varsity
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
