smell my finger.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize