i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We were destined to go to rehab together
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
