I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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