my shit smells like andre
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Randomize
