So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
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just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
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I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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