Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
