you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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