Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
