Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
