Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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