Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize