The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
