I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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