We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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