i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
