i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
