Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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