quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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