I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize