Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
you never un-have a 4some
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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