Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
