Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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