Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
