apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sarcasm needs its own font
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
