ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
