never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
