Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus