I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My breasts were aching with rage.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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