this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
