Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Randomize
