Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market

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(586): I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market http://tfl.nu/4otb

Replies (1) Good night (923) Bad night (1022)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone

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(215): some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone http://tfl.nu/uc8d

Replies (1) Good night (857) Bad night (1194)
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(208): View more from Idaho

when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"

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(208): when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers" http://tfl.nu/yspu

Replies (6) Good night (5100) Bad night (720)
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(541): View more from Oregon

When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.

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(541): When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside. http://tfl.nu/wpt8

Replies (11) Good night (3059) Bad night (1821)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover

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(605): maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover http://tfl.nu/xpyi

Replies (3) Good night (1541) Bad night (1199)
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(458): View more from Oregon

I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.

(350): View more from

You are my idol.

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(458): I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation. (350): You are my idol. http://tfl.nu/xq85

Replies (21) Good night (3498) Bad night (1151)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.

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(775): Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/op0y

Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (1271)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.

(513): View more from Ohio

I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.

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(513): I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote. (513): I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now. http://tfl.nu/2ikr

Replies (17) Good night (843) Bad night (1728)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied

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(901): She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied http://tfl.nu/t1al

Replies (7) Good night (1312) Bad night (672)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though

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(601): Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though http://tfl.nu/7jbg

Replies (25) Good night (1590) Bad night (2986)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.

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(203): Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic. http://tfl.nu/uabe

Replies (2) Good night (1209) Bad night (710)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.

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(765): I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/djj8

Replies (8) Good night (1584) Bad night (438)
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(478): View more from Georgia

I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick

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(478): I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick http://tfl.nu/ahbd

Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (598)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.

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(617): ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles. http://tfl.nu/rw8b

Replies (4) Good night (657) Bad night (376)
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(520): View more from Arizona

I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.

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(520): I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol. http://tfl.nu/f2fz

Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (415)

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