Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Are we still banned from the library?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.