i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together