Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accept this challenge.

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  (410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm
  Replies (61) Good night (19048) Bad night (2035)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

  (305): View more from Florida

  I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

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  (786): She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick (305): I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius. http://tfl.nu/szcg
  Replies (18) Good night (3972) Bad night (1619)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.

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  (313): Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose. http://tfl.nu/p7by
  Replies (14) Good night (2908) Bad night (1108)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?

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  (678): thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right? http://tfl.nu/2evi
  Replies (7) Good night (2180) Bad night (1062)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right

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  (717): he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right http://tfl.nu/bx9n
  Replies (8) Good night (1396) Bad night (2041)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Those memories are both hazy and awesome.

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  (802): Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom? (401): Those memories are both hazy and awesome. http://tfl.nu/ars0
  Replies (6) Good night (1952) Bad night (608)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.

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  (412): some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job. http://tfl.nu/yk8c
  Replies (7) Good night (3434) Bad night (650)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?

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  (571): Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today? http://tfl.nu/1p94
  Replies (3) Good night (1393) Bad night (576)
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  (760): View more from California

  I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.

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  (760): I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable. http://tfl.nu/xt8c
  Replies (1) Good night (1032) Bad night (507)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know

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  (727): You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know http://tfl.nu/dtxn
  Replies (6) Good night (735) Bad night (345)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.

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  (608): Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation. http://tfl.nu/yj08
  Replies (1) Good night (740) Bad night (333)
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  (716): View more from New York

  while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing

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  (716): while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing http://tfl.nu/6vwv
  Replies (2) Good night (788) Bad night (282)
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  (310): View more from California

  you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer

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  (310): you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer http://tfl.nu/3y4u
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (294)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...

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  (306): so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night... http://tfl.nu/edce
  Replies (2) Good night (327) Bad night (549)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing

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  (202): I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing http://tfl.nu/zynh
  Replies (3) Good night (417) Bad night (222)

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