The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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