Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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