You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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