eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
