Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
