did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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