clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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