just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
