Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
