just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
