Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
