Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
