My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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