i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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