So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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