Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
