we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize