If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
