Dual....:-)
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize