The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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