he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
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