he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
