And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
