why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think pants incapable of making pants work
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Help. Why am I so naked?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
