You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
